Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Cyberbullying

This story starts in July.  When I was on vacation in Florida, I chatted a bit with a guy named John who seemed like any other guy.  He was your typical accountant-type, with slightly above average looks and a decent taste in movies.  Nothing was really alarming about him, until after a while he started trying to turn the conversation to my sexual history.  He wanted to know all about when and how and would persist even though I'd dodge his attempts at answering.  Eventually I just had to tell him that it's none of his business, and I'm not comfortable discussing it.

Then something in him became completely unhinged, because the response I got was an all-caps rant about how I was a f*ing c*nt and a tease and on and on and on for a page and a half.  I was in such shock I didn't know how what to do.  I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd shocked or upset me, so I wrote back, "You sound lovely.  Coffee next week?"  I guess he didn't like my sarcasm, because then he blocked me.  I thought that was the end of him.

Fast-forward to two weeks ago.  I got an email from the guy again.  I didn't recognize him as the crazy guy from July, so I responded.  (He must have unblocked me.)  Anyway, he launched into the sexual questions right away this time, and I gave him the same 'none of your business' answer.  Then I got a really terrible message back, again in all-caps with lots of F-bombs and c-words.  I recognized it immediately.  This time though, he wrote "I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE ON THIS DATING SITE HELL."  This really freaked me out at the time because I couldn't understand why this one crazy guy would target me out of all the women online.  Compared to other women's online profiles, mine's not especially memorable.  My response to him this time was "Hello again!  Gosh, it's been a while.  We should catch up!"  That didn't get a response from him.

Anyway, he tried it again a few nights ago and I blocked him right away.  At first it felt as though blocking further communication from him was like admitting that he'd won somehow -- that his craziness was getting to me.  But then I thought, why waste energy reading garbage intended to hurt me?  Then I blocked him.  It felt amazing.

Isn't it interesting how an especially rude email, even from a crazy stranger, can stick with you?  The internet just makes it way too easy to be anonymously nasty.

1 comment:

  1. Yikes! This is NOT okay. You can report this guy to the people who run the dating site. If he is doing this to you, he is doing this to other women. God forbid some poor woman actually goes out on a date with him, she could end up raped and murdered.

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