Whirlwind Romance

This summer got off to quite a start, dating-wise.  I met some very interesting characters, though none that I really cared to meet again.  (The most memorable is probably the Irishman who was completely devoid of a personality or sense of humour -- how is that even possible?  Can't you get kicked out of Ireland for that?)  We're into the end of summer now, as much as I hate the thought, and I think I may have just experienced the closest thing I'm going to get this year to a summer fling.  Let me start from the beginning...

Just over a month ago I made the mistake of meeting an ex for a drink.  He wasn't a significant ex - we only dated briefly in 2010 - so I thought nothing of getting back in touch.  This turned out to be a mistake.  A funny thing happens when you reconnect with someone from your past.  You can fall into an easy intimacy, if you're not careful, just out of an old familiarity.  Well, I guess I wasn't careful.  About a week after that, while I was still trying to sort out my feelings about him -- Do I like him, or did I just like remembering what a relationship feels like?  Could there be potential here? -- Oh the moping I did!  And while I was moping, I met someone.

Naim is not someone I would have emailed first, if I came across his dating profile.  Not because it was bad, but because there was nothing that especially grabbed me.  So when Naim emailed on a Sunday to suggest we meet, I think I only agreed because he seemed nice enough, and because I needed to get outside and stop mulling over my thoughts.  I suggested we meet near my place and take my dog Winston to the park.  (Yes, I was taking a cue from the romantic comedy 'Must Love Dogs'.  It's smart, really -- dog antics are great conversation filler!)

My first impression of Naim was that he was handsome, with a great smile, and an adorable French accent.  We talked in the park for a while, and although I can't say I really connected with him, I liked his optimism.  Also, I found it fascinating to hear the perspective of someone who grew up in a part of the world so different from here.  When we left the park, I didn't expect to hear from him again.  But I did.  Immediately!  A few hours later he wanted to see a movie.  I didn't feel like going out so I invited him over to watch something on Netflix.  Now, a word of dating advice, if I may?  Maybe watch something that makes you want to get closer on the couch.  Don't do what we did and put on Braveheart for God's sake.

There's something in the air

I don't know what it is about springtime, but lately my dating site inboxes have been getting more emails than usual.  I have to say, the winter seems to be the worst time for dating.  Nobody really wants to leave the house.  But now that it's patio season, everyone's in the mood to date again!

Lots to update you on, so I'm going to give you the short version.  (Some of these would have made amazing posts on their own though, so I'm a bit sad at having to leave some things out.  Oh well.)

Bad Break-up Brian:  Back in March I met up with Brian for coffee, but he looked very familiar.  Of course he did.  I dated Brian already, six years ago.  (Have I already dated all the single men, and now I'm back at the top of the list??)  Anyway, he didn't seem to recognize me, so I just pretended it was our first first date and not our second first date.  Back then, we went out a few times, but I realized he was a bit dim so I stopped seeing him.  So this time when he asked me for a second date, I politely said 'no thanks' -- I already knew he wasn't for me.  When most people get a 'no thanks' text message in reply to asking someone out, they leave it at that.  What's there to say, right?  Well if you're Brian, you dig deeper.  If you're Brian, you continue to press the issue until the other person stops trying to politely let you down and just outright tells you to f*ck off.  Poor Brian.

On dating, heartbreak, birthdays, and puppies

It's no secret that I've been avoiding this blog.  Some of you have yelled at me through emails expressing concern that I've given up on dating.  Most of you just yelled at me because you think you're missing out on some funny stories.  One or two of you sent a congratulatory email, assuming that a lack of bad dating stories must mean that I've found the love of my life.  Well, all of you are a little bit right!

In the fall, I wasn't especially into dating.  I was more focused on eating healthy, learning to cook, and losing weight.  I still checked my dating site inboxes, but there really wasn't anyone emailing me that I just HAD to meet, so I took a bit of a dating break.

When December hit, a flip in me must have switched because I signed up for every goddamn speed dating event and singles mixer I could find.  Not kidding, December was a marathon of 7 minute dates, and all of them were disappointing.  Also, there were some repeat dates.  Remember the guy with the limp who I found kind of obnoxious?  Click here for a refresher.  He was at speed dating.  TWICE.  AND the holiday singles mixer.  It was totally awkward.  Another guy seemed really into me until I told him my name.  He visibly deflated, then said quietly, "Oh.  That's not a Jewish name.  You're not Jewish."  Then he kind of slunk away to the bar.  I think that's the first time anyone has mistaken me -- a tall, buxom, freckly blonde -- for one of God's chosen people.

That brings us into January, which was pretty rough for me emotionally.  I was struggling with the idea of being 30.  Or more specifically, single, overweight, and 30.  The media is pretty clear that this is a deadly combination for women.  So when Scott, yet again, appeared out of nowhere -- yes this same Scott! -- and he charmed me and I began to care about him, despite him having pulled a disappearing act before, I was super careful not to fall for him.  But...err..totally did anyway.  Part of it was probably that I wanted it to work so badly that I gave him more chances than I should have.  He has a track record of leading me on, and then disappearing into thin air, leaving me heartbroken.  The douchebag signs were totally there, but I ignored them.  To no one's surprise, he disappeared again, right before my birthday.  To say I took it badly was an understatement.  The timing was terrible!  I was already feeling overly sensitive about the whole 'turning 30' thing, so to be duped by the man AGAIN just left me feeling sorry for myself, and really angry.  Angry at him, but maybe even more angry at myself for being so stupid.