Coworkers on Parade

Last night was another fun event with my coworkers!  This time, thankfully, it started at a reasonable hour.  (Click here to read about the last time I went out with these folks.)  It was the boss' birthday, and everyone was geared up to make a night of it.


We started out at The Pilot in Yorkville around 5:30pm.  Drinks and appetizers were served -- I stuck to drinking diet coke for a while because I really can't handle my liquor, and I wanted everyone else to get a good head start.  The Pilot has a rooftop patio, which would have been amazing on a less sticky and humid day.  (As usual, I left the house with fantastic hair and makeup only to arrive at my destination completely soaked.  What's that expression?  'Girls don't perspire, they glow'?  Oh I was glowing alright.)


The funny thing about my coworkers is that after you get a few drinks in them, all propriety goes out the window.  (Interestingly, it's usually the HR gal that riles it all up.)  For some reason they were completely fixated on my breasts last night, and the resulting pictures are truly horrendous.  (There's an especially dirty one of me holding a beer with my cleavage while Deb pretends to mouth the bottle.  Oh Lawdy, I hope that one doesn't end up on Facebook.)


Anyway, I did eventually start drinking.  I ordered a glass of wine, trying to be classy, but that didn't last long.  A bunch of us had a drink called a grenade -- a shot of tequila, quickly chased with a shot of Jägermeister dropped into a glass of Red Bull.  It was truly disgusting.  I followed it with 3 glasses of water. Then I discovered Long Island iced tea, which went down MUCH too easily.

A bit of poetry

It's not every day that you wake up to a poem in your Inbox.  This particular gem comes from a guy on Plenty of Fish who, apparently, gets inspired in the wee hours of the morning.

I guess it's not bad considering that he wrote it at 4am.  Over eight months of online dating and this is my first poem!  An eDating milestone!  (And you people wonder why I don't go on more dates...?)

Singles Mixer Snooze-Fest

Last night I went to a singles mixer at Parlour on Adelaide. Remember Cici the yoga instructor from my Vegas trip? Well she was my wing man for the night -- or rather, I think I was hers. I was just NOT in the mood to be charming, so I let her take the lead.

I tried out a hairstyle I saw in a magazine last night for the first time. It was supposed to give me beachy waves, but instead gave me Shirley Temple. And then the humidity on the walk to the bar gave me frizz. (I can't win.) Having bad hair at a singles mixer instantly saps your confidence, but on we went.

I wasn't wearing my glasses so I couldn't get a good sense of who was there, but Cici immediately noticed that the ratio of women to men was about 6 to 1. She seemed pretty discouraged, while I remained mostly indifferent. We did a short lap around the room and landed on a couch next to two very quiet Iranian men. Cici kept the conversation going while I tried very hard not to be bored. (I did, however, take a strong interest in my gin & tonic.)

On the way back from getting another drink, we chatted up one of the event organizers. He had the unforgettable name of Chris Brown. We talked about the statistics of dating events, and which events were more likely to attract either of the sexes. Pretty interesting stuff actually. Apparently their wine tasting event was packed with guys. (Will definitely make a note to go to their next one.)

What are the odds?

I've exchanged a few emails with a guy in the last day or so -- let's call him Larry -- who bears an uncanny resemblance to Ken, whom I dated in January.  Even down to the limp.  Over text, Larry said he walks with a slight limp, due to a tumor he once had in his spinal cord.  I got the whole story, and it was kind of sad.  (Apparently he just drew the genetic 'short straw'.)  What are the odds that I'd meet two men on Plenty of Fish, of a similar age and build, who both walk with a limp?  This is the question I asked Muffy today in a text, which got the funniest answer ever...

Were you in a limp chatroom?  (Ha!  Oh that could go so many ways.)

Anyway, he's been texting me all day.  Not even kidding -- I've had four texts and it's only 5pm.  He seems really nice, but gimme a break!  He's taken all of the usual 'game' out of the situation.  There's no mystery, no wondering if he'll call or text.  I've complained about 'the game' a lot, but now that it's out of the equation, I kind of miss it.  Without any challenge, and with the guy practically falling at my feet, I seem to be much less interested.  Could it be that 'the game' is actually important to the human mate selection process?  I'm storing this thought for later.

Party 'til the sun comes up

You might remember from my last post that I was supposed to go out with Henry the landscaper last night.  Well, it didn't happen.  I slept through what was supposed to be our second date.  Let me explain why...

On Tuesday night (which was technically Wednesday morning) I went to a work function that began at midnight and went to about 5am.  It's not like me to go out drinking on a weeknight, but my company was sponsoring the event, and there was an open bar, so how could I pass it up?  I also had the added incentive of maybe meeting a guy -- it was the after party to an IT conference, so the ratio of men to women was about 6 to 1.  I liked the odds.

I wrestled myself into some spanx, troweled on some makeup, and put on the sexiest heels I could manage to walk in.  I think I looked pretty good, so I'm sure I had a definite strut when I got out of the cab and walked toward the line-up.  As soon as I got my VIP wristband on and got in the door, I knew instantly that my hair and makeup didn't stand a chance.  The old hall, chosen no doubt because it had a stage for the live band, had NO AIR CONDITIONING.  It started out hot, but quickly turned into a sauna as people arrived and began dancing.  (I went from looking sexy to looking like a half-melted wax figure of RuPaul in less than 15 seconds.)  Some guys were even down to undershirts, once they figured out that they had sweat stains to their waist.

"Well this shirt's ruined.  Better just take it off and keep dancing.  Shots!  Shots!"

Being only about six months into my job, I've never had the opportunity to party with my coworkers before.  This was the first time I got to see everyone feeling relaxed and tipsy, and it was surprising the personalities that came out.  The cool guy in the office kept giving everyone the thumbs up all night, the quiet Italian guy who claimed to be too shy to network started drinking rum and cokes two at a time, and one of the programmers got completely tanked and took it upon himself to be my wing man -- basically he just ran around the room asking guys if they were single, and if he found one, he then found me and dragged over to them, asking them, "Have you met Kathy?"  (That's not my name.)

Eat, play, love (travel)

Hiya readers!  I have so much news!  I wish I had time to write everything in separate posts, but I'm just going to have to write one post with point-form updates.

FLORIDA
Vacation in Florida was amazing!  I went with my mom and sister for a week of laying by the pool and shopping.  I came back with a [very slight] tan, and lots of great clothes.  I would just like to say, however, that the house we rented seemed to have some creatures living in it.  I woke up in the middle of the night to use the washroom, and on my way I saw something dash from one shadow to the next, and I heard little footsteps.  I stood there for a minute trying to decide whether to grab my phone (to use as a flashlight) and investigate, or go back to bed.  Since the creature was actually IN the washroom, I went for option #2.  Anyway, that was the last night of the trip, so I didn't get too creeped out.  There were lots of tiny lizards around the pool though, which were more cute than creepy.  (I'm pretty sure lizards can't hurt me, and these ones were definitely not heavy enough to have audible footsteps on lineoleum... *shudder*)

DATES

The night before I left for Florida I had a date with Dan the elementary school teacher.  He was very nice, and we had a good time, but I'm not sure we really connected.  We've exchanged a few messages, but I think I was the one to initiate, so unless I hear from him again, which seems unlikely, I'll chalk that up to a nice evening, but no chemistry.

I've also just this past Sunday been out with another guy, Henry the landscaper.  We just did the typical Starbucks thing, but I think we had great conversation.  And I'm sure he felt a spark, because he asked me out for tomorrow night before I even got home from our first date -- I had to travel to the end of the subway line, so it was a bit of a journey.  Anyway, my initial thoughts on him are that he is soft-spoken, has a great smile, and seems family-oriented.  He's not the classiest guy around, but that seems to matter less and less with each loser I go out with.

WORK

Do you ever have days (or weeks) where you feel like you can't do anything right?  Yep, that's me.  Apparently I was so excited on the Thursday before my vacation that I ran out the door without officially telling anyone, and I missed a big staff meeting.  That's a pretty big oops.  Like, 'official HR warning' oops.  Where was my head?  

I've always been a bit flighty and forgetful -- my sister once summed it up nicely when she said I'm the dumbest smart person she knows.  This isn't an insult at all, despite how it sounds.  I didn't take it that way, and she didn't mean it as one.  I just read a book where the main character's 20-something son possessed a seriously high IQ but was always a little 'out to lunch'.  I sort of feel like that too, except my IQ isn't as impressive.  Mostly it just seems like I'm always saying the wrong thing.  Anyway, until I'm put on a project that really highlights my strengths, I'd better be careful not to come across as too absent-minded, or these people will wonder why they hired me in the first place.

In other news, I'm going to a work party tonight that starts at midnight and goes until 5am.  My company is sponsoring the after party to a big conference, and my instructions were to 'look cool'.  What am I going to wear??  At least it should be good for a blog post!

LIFE

Kind of related to work, I've noticed I'm a major stress eater.  This is definitely working against my goal of getting healthy this year.  Since I don't see work getting less stressful anytime soon, I've decided something's got to give, and that's my diet.  I've made a decision to start Weight Watchers, which should at least make me more careful about what I eat when work is getting to me.  I guess my first step is to find a meeting?  I don't know.  I'll report back.

So that's it from me for now!  Lots going on, so I'll have lots to write about!