Blendr - Just too many penises

Hola readers!  Sorry I haven't written in a while -- I've been busy with moving.  I now have a larger apartment for less rent.  Yay for me!  But the packing, unpacking, and redecorating was grueling.  Though I did have a team of amazing helpers!  (Thanks guys!)

Meanwhile on the romance front, my dating life has become nonexistent.  It's gotten so bad that I think my online profiles are growing cobwebs.  So in an attempt to liven things up, my GBF (gay best friend) recommended I try out an iPhone app called Blendr.  He's a fan of Grindr, the gay version of the same app.  Apparently it's whole purpose is to help you meet people in your general geographic area.

I'm not sure what the app developers intended with the app, but I'm told that the men on Grindr primarily use it to locate guys in their immediate vicinity for the purposes of hooking up.  It's totally just about finding people for sex with no strings attached.  Since this isn't what I'm after, I was pretty hesitant about downloading the hetero version.  (Sex with strangers?  No thanks.  I'd be too nervous and self-conscious and awkward to even enjoy it.)  But GBF said you can also just use it as a dating app, to meet local singles.  Sold!  I downloaded it.

It really didn't seem at all scandalous.  I filled in a very basic profile, and noticed there was a drop-down menu for what you're looking for -- I selected 'Dating'.  Next thing you know, I'm looking at tiny pictures of everyone nearby who also has the app.  Electronic people-watching!  It was fun for a while, and I chatted a bit with a neighbour about our favourite gelato flavours.  Nothing sexual (or even all that interesting) about it. Then I went to bed.

The next morning I woke up and noticed 7 alerts on my phone from Blendr.  Seven guys want to chat!  I got all excited, thinking I was pretty popular.  I clicked the first message and there was a small picture of something I couldn't quite make out... maybe sand dunes or some sort of desert scene?  I enlarged it.  PENIS.  Not even a hello first.  Then I went to my next message.  This time I got a hello, and another picture.  It was something blurry and back-lit, so I had to make it bigger to see.  Again -- PENIS.  At this point I started to think Blendr isn't really a dating app at all.  The rest of the messages?  Two were just to say hi, but the others?  PENIS.  PENIS.  PENIS.

In case you lost count, that's 5 penises I had to wake up to.  All before I'd even had my morning coffee.

So if hooking up with horny 20-somethings is what you're after, Blendr (or Grindr) is brilliant.  Nearly everyone was exceptionally good-looking and fit.  (Or maybe that's more a reflection of where I live.)  But don't be deceived by the 'Dating' or 'Relationship' status thing.  Nobody there is interested in just meeting you for gelato.