What happened in Vegas - Part 3

Ok! Ready for more Vegas? I know it's been drawn out but TRUST ME the best stuff happened at the end. I think it'll be worth the wait! (Just one more to go after this one, as soon as I have time, I promise.)

Saturday

This is the day I will always remember as the day I picked a fight with a bus load of Mexicans. But maybe I should start from the beginning. It was another beautiful, warm sunny day in Las Vegas -- hot, but with a breeze so you don't get too sweaty. Muffy and I headed to the pool around 10:30am and found that every single chair was occupied. I spotted an area on the pool deck that looked promising, so Muffy (the resourceful wee thing) went and stole a bunch of towels to make the hard ground more comfy. And then, to stake out our territory and save room for the other four gals who would join us in a few hours, I spread the entire contents of my beach bag across half the deck.

Be sure to put book end your poolside territory with something gross that no one would want to touch -- my bloody, crusty sandals worked like a charm.

It was amazing!  We basically had a private pool.  Eventually it did get more crowded and some pimply, barely-old-enough-to-drink guys tried to encroach on our space by sneakily moving my shoe closer and closer to the center.  So every once in a while I'd just bellow "I HAVE FOUR MORE FRIENDS COMING!" as soon as anyone got too close.  For whatever reason, I was having a bossy day, and it wouldn't end there.

That evening we planned on going to the Rio buffet. We had a coupon, and it was where our evening entertainment was being held. I skipped lunch in anticipation of a huge meal, but in retrospect I probably should have had a snack -- I was hungry enough to eat my own hand, and growing crankier by the minute. Before we left Gigi made us each put on a dollar store tiara so that people would know we were part of a group. I still don't really know why. (Muffy, that's how much I love you.)

We took the shuttle to Rio from Bally's. The most stressful moment of the trip was when I thought I was going to have to run for the shuttle bus on my mangled feet. I would have been left behind, but Cece too -- the girl couldn't run in her 5 inch stilettos. She definitely puts style before comfort, that one.

Cece's buffet shoes:

Not for people who make repeat trips to the burrito bar.

Once we got to Rio, some of us waited in line for the buffet and some of us went to get tickets for the show. While in line, I watched a woman in a nasty velour track suit and crunchy hair march over to the middle of the line, open the velvet ropes, and proceed to let  in her entire extended family. Oh hell no, chola!  I was hungry and cranky and ready to cut a bitch. I ordered everyone to the back of the line.  They complied, but I was REALLY embarrassed later -- I might not have been such a line cop if I'd remembered I was wearing a plastic tiara.

Anyway, that awkwardness aside, we had a great dinner. I was pretty smart about my buffet strategy -- I made the dessert table a priority right away.

They had a gelato station!  Outta my way, small children!

Prioritizing the desserts up front kept me from eating too much of the other stuff (i.e. real food), so I didn't have to feel uncomfortably full during the show. Poor Gigi -- her eyes were bigger than her stomach, and she looked a bit green by the end. (Rookie mistake.  If company parties with the exterminators at The Mandarin have taught me anything, it's buffet strategy.)  High five to Didi though!  She made me proud!

So I've been vague about our entertainment for the evening because I wanted it to be a surprise. What did we see?

 

Hosted by The Bachelor's Jake Pavelka no less!

The show was actually better than I expected. It wasn't my first choice of evening entertainment, but I ended up having a great time! The audience at the show is just as entertaining as the half-naked men, and totally worth the price of admission. Also, Jake Pavelka has zero personality, and is TINY in real life! The highlight, though, was getting a hug and a kiss from one of the guys who thought it was my bachelorette party.  He said, "Congratulations sweetie!" in the lispiest, gayest voice I'd ever heard.  (What, you didn't think the Chippendales were actually straight, did you?)  Oh, and there was another highlight... One of the guys had a HUGE zit on his ass.  It wasn't noticeable until the end when he was back-lit and in profile but sure enough, once he turned sideways in his assless chaps, there it was!

Sunday's adventures coming just as soon as I have time!