Yesterday I went to Walmart to pick up a couple of groceries. They were out of baskets at the front door so I thought I'd just scoop up the few things I needed. It was a short grocery list. Unfortunately, I realized too late that although my grocery items were few, they were f*cking heavy! I was standing in the '10 or less' line trying to wrangle two jugs of soy milk, a small case of diet coke, and a jumbo box of Shreddies. My arms were about to collapse from fatigue. Faced with the option of dropping it all on the floor, I asked the man in front of me if he would mind if I cut in. He was only carrying some tupperware storage bins, and as he was built like an ox, I knew he wasn't having the same problem as me.
"Excuse me sir, would you mind if I go next? I don't think I can hold onto this much longer."
...which was first met with incredulity.
...and then horror.
...and then contempt.
I mean, really? This is a big deal? I'm standing there with my arms visibly shaking and my hair stuck to my forehead in a sweaty hank. A 21st century damsel in distress, just trying to make it back to the castle with the basic necessities of life -- damn right diet pop counts as a basic necessity.
Maybe I caught the guy on a bad day, but I'm pretty sure chivalry just died a little.
I don't think this has anything to do with chivalry. If I was in his situation I would have told you the same thing regardless of if you were a man or a woman: "Why not put something down on the floor while you're standing in line?" It's not his fault you had heavy items. He was there first. You're not entitled to his spot because you a) have heavy items and b) are female.
ReplyDeleteIt's not like I felt entitled to his spot, I just think if the tables were turned I would have helped him out. But then I'm also the weirdo that makes conversation with strangers in the check-out line. Just because he was there first doesn't mean he can't offer someone else the spot. It's just like when someone comes up right behind you at the counter and you have tons of stuff and they only have a pack of gum. I always let them go first, don't you?
DeleteNo. I was there first.
DeleteThese days lots of grocery stores supply small plastic hand baskets to carry a small number of items or large metals cars to carry items that are many in number or larger in size. You're an adult, get one before you start shopping.
ReplyDeleteDude, if there was a basket available I would have grabbed one! My asking for chivalry has nothing to do with being male or female. Call it politeness, if that's a better word. If someone behind me in line was clearly about to spill litres of milk on the floor, I would TOTALLY step aside. It's just the nice thing to do.
DeleteDude, I didn't say anything about chivalry. Also, the floor is a great place to put things. And if you can't find a cart or basket in Walmart then you're not doing it right. Maybe you did catch him on a bad day, or maybe because of your trembling and sweatiness, what you said didn't come out as charming and damsel-in-distress as you thought it did, and instead came out as entitled and bitchy, but it's nice that you made up your mind about him on the basis of one interaction in a line at Walmart.
Delete"21st century damsel in distress", accompanied with your chivalry is dead sentiment, made it sound like you were disappointed in this man's actions because you feel you should be treated better given that you are a woman. I know the damsel in distress line may have been tongue-in-cheek, but that's just how it reads.
DeleteMost people today associate chivalry with men acting favorably towards woman, ie. opening doors for them, etc. I know that's not how the word was originally used, but that seems to be the modern take. So yes, politeness would be a better word.
Sorry g, my reply to you was supposed to be about the lack of baskets. The chivalry part was in response to Anonymous' comment above. I smooshed them together by mistake.
DeleteA lack of baskets at the Dufferin mall Walmart shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, by the way. Have you seen that place??
I tend to view chivalry as unsolicited, voluntary acts of generosity. As soon as you ask him to take his spot, he doesn't have any opportunity to be chivalrous anymore. Not that he would have been. Anyways, at that point it becomes an issue of how much the guys weighs his own needs (get home faster) and effort (little) against the benefit of being looked upon benevolently by a random stranger and judging their effort (much, by means of grocery overload).
ReplyDeleteClearly, going home faster was more important to the guy than your goodwill. On the other hand, you also lack the context of what he was up to and how he ends up at his set of priorities. I'd say leave it at a tie, maybe.
You know, I write these things in 10 minutes or less, usually on my lunch break. I write silly little posts about bad dates, and when there's no dating news, I fill in with funny anecdotes. I think you're putting way too much thought and effort into my writing.
DeleteAwesome pictures though. Those alone make this post fun to read.
DeleteKiki, don't change a thing! I depend on you for Walmart anecdotes from the dirty Duff and tales of the trials that cereal shopping brings! If its something serious, it obvi gets discussed in the nest.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as the chivalry debate, beyond its knighthood and courtly love connotations is defined as:
"courteous behaviour, especially towards women"
(gosh online dictionaries are handy)
You know what qualifies as courteous behaviour towards women? Giving up your place in line so the poor girl schlepping the cereal can catch a break. I could make up my own definition, but then it would be bitchy for me to correct your proper use of the term. Just sayin'
xoxx
Most intense debateabout walmart baskets EVER.
ReplyDeleteWomen want equality, they got it. :)
ReplyDeletePut your heavy items down and wait your turn.