The Wild Wild Web

Every once in a while you come across someone truly... special.  I got an email today from a guy that must have emailed me sometime in the past, but I didn't respond.  I admit that the polite thing to do would be to email a response to everyone who writes me, even if I'm not interested.  This rarely happens.  I'll send a "thanks, but no thanks" sort of email to guys who put in a major effort, but often I don't bother.  I wish I could say that I'm so popular that I couldn't possibly respond to everyone, but that's not even close to true.  (If you have this problem, we can't be friends.  It's not you, it's me.)

Anyway, here's a bit of context before I tell you what he wrote.  One of the questions that OkCupid asks you to answer in their profile form is "I'm really good at _____".  My answer to this question is "Building Ikea furniture."  (Well it's true!  I'm like an idiot savant with an Allen key.)

Anyway, here's his email:

Ikea doesn't count as actual furniture. It's essentially grown-up Lego pieces. 
Congrats, you're a glorified 5 year old with "growed up toys".

What am I supposed to say to that?  He's basically calling me stupid, right?  I'd like to see him build a flarfenhokl.  Ha!

Well, instead of ignoring him, I fired back with a not-particularly-scathing-but-all-I-could-think-of-at-the-time retort -- "Thanks, asshole."

Yep, I'm classy like that.  I guess this guy was just trying to get a rise out of me because then he wrote:

Wow a response this time! Being a jerk actually does work on this site.
Hey at least I'm not kissing ass like 90 percent of the guys here!

Newsflash, buddy.  We're all kissing ass and trying to meet people.  It's competitive out here on the Wild Wild Web.

 

Giddy up.