It would appear Josh changed his mind. I woke up this morning to a very nice but ultimately disappointing email. It would seem he thinks I'm great, but that we don't have anything in common. Here is his message:
"I’ve put a little thought into things over the last day and I think it’s
probably best if we break our date for Saturday night. I think you’re a
great girl in that you’re cute, intelligent and infectiously cheerful,
but I really just worry that we don’t share a whole lot in the way of
common interests. Given my past experiences, it’s something I’m really
looking for going forward. I’d hate for the only thing we have in common
to be liking each other. I want to thank you for giving me a chance in
the first place, and I’m sincerely sorry that I’ll be disappointing you
with all this. Again, I think you’re an amazing girl and I know it won’t
be long before you find exactly what you’re looking for. Best of luck."
So first of all, that might be the nicest brush-off email I've ever received. ("Infectiously cheerful" is a bit of a stretch though.) And second, I think his reason for bailing on me is total bullsh*t. Not enough in common? We're both musicians who read the same dorky fantasy books. I don't really know what more he needs. (I've had long-term relationships based on less.) I think it's more realistic to think he's met someone else who he'd rather spend time with. If he'd said that in an email, it probably would have hurt, but at least it would make sense.
Well, back to the drawing board. I'm supposed to meet a guy for coffee on Sunday night. I think I already know we're not going to get along. But you know what they say... get back on that bike! Or is it a horse? Whatever. You get the idea.
Now if you'll excuse me I think I'll go drown my disappointment in popsicles. (Not nearly as satisfying as chocolate or ice cream, but the damn gallstones are a bit limiting. Sigh.)
I dunno...I think that this was a decent break-up email. The less information, the better. It is human nature to try to get as much information as possible...but there's no need to know why he doesn't want to see you. If you had been dating for 6 months, a more honest explanation would have been appropriate. I think he did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteThat being said: what a jerk! He's missing out on (remembering *PAST* experiences with you) an AWESOME chick.
Thanks Jess! You're right, I'm curious as to why he didn't feel a connection, but sometimes it's better not to know. And I much prefer a nice email like this to having him just stop all contact! (That's the worst.)
DeleteYour entry really resonated with me, because I remember going through the exact feeling of disappointment a year ago. The boy had wrote that he thinks I'm a great person and all, but that it wasn't what he was looking for, and that he is sure someone else will be able to see the incredible person in me, and make me happy, etc...
ReplyDeleteAt the time, it was a real hit to my ego, but a year later in retrospect, I think maybe it was true what he said. (In my case, he and I shared mutual friends so I knew he had not let me off for another girl, and that as time played out, he remained single the rest of the year.)What I am trying to say is sometimes it isn't our character, nor his, but issues external to our character. I think in my case, we both had common interest, and liked each other, but we were in-congruent on an emotional and commitment level.
Thanks for this post!
i'm with you on feeling that there's probably something else going on, considering he was the one who made the plans. that said, it's altogether possible he's telling the truth. my (late) suggestion: take the compliments and run. i don't know if you answered, but the best you could do might have been to write and say you were disappointed because you thought the two of you were getting along, but that you wish him well. if he is indeed just panicking or something, that might get him to rethink, and if he's solid in the decision it can't do any damage either. i'm a firm believer that you can't spend too much time trying to read between everyone's lines - there comes a point where you just have to take people at their words for the sake of your own mental health..
ReplyDeleteSo true Jordan! I did write back, but it was just to say "Thanks for being honest, nice to have met you, best of luck" or something similar. In the end, I did just take your advice -- take the compliments and run. :)
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