I had a very interesting date this evening. On his online profile, Ken looked every bit the frat boy. He had the tan, the smile, and the puffy hairdo that you find on Jersey Shore. He was even a self-described asshole.
So it's probably no surprise I wasn't looking forward to meeting him. The only reason I went out with Ken was because I didn't want to dwell on being disappointed in Josh, and a distraction seemed a better option. I wanted to throw myself back into the ring, so to speak.
We decided to meet for coffee in Little Italy. I was told our date was at 6:32 specifically -- I think he thinks he's funny. Anyway, I got there a bit early, so I bought a cup of tea and found a table. I was playing with my phone when I looked up and there was Ken. We said our hellos and then he went to the counter to get an espresso.
It was then that I noticed he was limping quite noticeably. I thought maybe he pulled a muscle, or his foot was asleep or something. Or that he was stiff from a really tough workout, and he was playing up the walk so I would ask him about it and he could brag about how many reps he can do or whatever. When he got back to the table he sat next to me on the bench, instead of across the table from me, claiming he needed some extra leg room. Taking my cue, I then asked if he was alright, having noticed he looked like he was a bit stiff.
Well boy do I feel like an idiot. It turns out he was in a coma a few years back, which lasted over 3 months, and during that time his legs atrophied. (I'm not a medical person so I just assume that makes sense.) On second look, his legs did look much smaller in proportion to his top half. From there the conversation went to travel, and our online dating experiences. It was a pleasant enough date, but certainly not outstanding in any way. When asked about why he calls himself an asshole, he explained that he speaks his mind and sometimes people don't want to hear (his version of) the truth. (This sort of confrontational behaviour is a massive turn-off for me.) After the coffee, he offered to drive me home and we parted ways -- neither of us was keen on another date.
So here's the thing. Since Ken didn't indicate on his profile or during our emails back and forth that he had a bit of a physical disability, I came across like an insensitive jerk. It was a bit of an awkward situation, but I admit it could have been much worse. I can understand not wanting to disclose in your profile that you have a disability or some kind of physical impairment. But maybe it would have been better to let me know before our date, so I didn't make a total ass of myself.
I don't know. Would you tell someone you were about to meet that, oh by the way, you have a bit of a limp and you'll never be able to run or bike or ski? I think it might be worth mentioning, even if you downplay whatever it is, somehow. Your thoughts?

No comments:
Post a Comment