Dear Match.com - enough with the alerts already!

I have a new iPhone, so like most people new to apps, I downloaded a whole bunch right away.  (Yes, I'm the last person in the world to get into Angry Birds.)  One of these apps was the Match.com one.

I really wish I hadn't.

Every dating site contains a group of people who I'm convinced don't sleep.  These men (although there are probably women like this too) just troll the site all night and send 'winks' willy-nilly to anyone who catches their eye.  Ever since downloading the Match.com app I've been woken up by my phone about 3 times a night...

Ding!  Mark in Mississauga sent you a wink!
Ding!  JB in Vancouver sent you a wink!
Ding!  Abubakar in Cairo sent you a wink!

Mississauga is driveable, Vancouver is at least the same country, but Egypt?  Seriously??  Dude, I'm looking for love, it's true, but you and I both know that neither of us is about to move to the other's country.  And even if you were the Egyptian Matt Damon, it's not going to happen -- you've woken me up at 5am and couldn't even be bothered to type a message.  F*ck off.

(Note to Matt Damon, if you're reading this, you're allowed to wink at whatever time of day you like.)