A while ago I got a really nasty email on Plenty of Fish. It kind of went something like this:
From: jerkface53
Subject: hey
Message: you should lose 40 pounds. you'd get more dates
Some people could probably just delete this message without a second thought. I mean, it's not like this guy was some Adonis - there's no way his inbox is overflowing. But I couldn't forget it. Instead of just passing over my profile like a normal person, this guy took the time to send me that message, probably thinking he was doing me a huge favour. Like he was telling me something I didn't already know.
I'm the first to admit I'm not what everyone is looking for, physically and otherwise. Hell, I ate my way through two degrees and now have the world's most sedentary job, so it's no wonder I don't have the same body I did before all that. But even with my lumps and bumps, I seem to attract men who are above average in looks, or at least I thought so. As my friend Alan would say, I've "dated up". When it comes right down to it, I have a ton of confidence in every aspect but one - I'm sometimes insecure about my weight.
It was this exact insecurity that led me to sign up for BBPeople, a dating site for "big and beautiful singles". So basically, a site for fatties and the people who love them.
I caved in and subscribed in a hasty moment of weakness. I REALLY wish I hadn't though. I was too wrapped up in the happy idea that there was a whole population of people online who would think I was hot sh*t, and never stopped to think about the lifestyle I want for myself and a future partner.
I am quite confident that if I end up with a couch potato, I'm likely to be one too. But that's not what I want. If past relationships have taught me anything, it's that I like being with more active guys because they make me want to get out and do more. They suggest walking around Kensington on a Saturday, for example, as opposed to sitting around and watching tv. I think maybe there's a limit to what I can take though. My ex the triathlete kept trying to turn me into a runner (which was never going to happen) and seemed to think saying things like "your clothes are looking a bit tight" was the best way to motivate me. (Maybe not the brightest bulb, but he sure was pretty.)
Anyway, I'm really skeptical about meeting someone from BBPeople, and if it weren't for the fact that I have a paid subscription, I'd delete my membership.
I did learn something interesting though: I'm not big enough for guys who claim to be fat fetishists. I'm kind of happy about that. I wonder though... how many roles do you have to have to qualify?
Aw Kate I think you look fabulous and what's most important is that you love yourself!
ReplyDeleteHehe was the dude's name really jerkface? (He sounds like he was one!) Unfortunately there are some people out there who feel they need to put others down in order to feel better about themselves.