There's something in the air

I don't know what it is about springtime, but lately my dating site inboxes have been getting more emails than usual.  I have to say, the winter seems to be the worst time for dating.  Nobody really wants to leave the house.  But now that it's patio season, everyone's in the mood to date again!

Lots to update you on, so I'm going to give you the short version.  (Some of these would have made amazing posts on their own though, so I'm a bit sad at having to leave some things out.  Oh well.)

Bad Break-up Brian:  Back in March I met up with Brian for coffee, but he looked very familiar.  Of course he did.  I dated Brian already, six years ago.  (Have I already dated all the single men, and now I'm back at the top of the list??)  Anyway, he didn't seem to recognize me, so I just pretended it was our first first date and not our second first date.  Back then, we went out a few times, but I realized he was a bit dim so I stopped seeing him.  So this time when he asked me for a second date, I politely said 'no thanks' -- I already knew he wasn't for me.  When most people get a 'no thanks' text message in reply to asking someone out, they leave it at that.  What's there to say, right?  Well if you're Brian, you dig deeper.  If you're Brian, you continue to press the issue until the other person stops trying to politely let you down and just outright tells you to f*ck off.  Poor Brian.


Publisher Pete:  In April I had a few dates with Pete the book publisher.  He was fascinating -- Not my type physically, but there was something so intelligent and interesting about him that I was really drawn to him.  Pete and I had amazing chemistry.  So what went wrong?  Two things.  On three separate occasions he talked about wanting to quit his job to focus on his writing, wanting to really find himself.  But the man was 37!  If he hasn't found himself by now, what the hell has he been up to this whole time?  So that was a major dealbreaker for me.  As if that weren't enough, he also hated my dog.  So...that was that.

Noah the Wannabe Swinger:  During the time I was wining and dining with Pete I went on a coffee date with Noah.  We met using this really cool app developed by OkCupid called Crazy Blind Date, where you basically arrange to meet someone at a specified location and time, but all you have is their name, age, and a scrambled photo.  I suppose on some level this might be scary, but then again you're meeting someone in a crowded place at crowded time.  It's kind of fun, though, to meet a total stranger and tell them to look for a blonde in a blue dress, or whatever.  When I met Noah at Starbucks we sat at two separate tables for a few minutes, because there were two guys in brown hats and I got confused.  Anyway, it was a great date once it got started.  He was really funny and kind of cute.  Then the conversation turned somehow to swingers and swing clubs...

...not this type of swing club.

Noah was really, really excited about the idea.  I don't know much about the swing club lifestyle, but I'm curious enough to go to one just to check it out -- way to chicken to participate, but not weirded out by the idea or anything.  There was no second date with Noah, not because of his wannabe swingerness, but because he just couldn't accommodate me in his busy schedule.

Naked Dom:  And finally, most recently, I've been dating Dom.  (He's Greek.  Is Dom a Greek name?  I have no idea.)  Dom and I also met using the Crazy Blind Date app, but we had an exchange of messages on OkCupid before our date -- he easily found me based on my age and picture, so we got to check out each other's profiles in advance.  My first thought on meeting him was that he was insanely good-looking.  He spends lots of time at the gym working on his body.  He's the type to wax his own chest, if that helps paint a picture.  Our first date was drinks, the second was dinner and drinks, our third date was afternoon coffee,  and our fourth date was dinner and drinks in my neighborhood.  If you know me, you know that I talk about my dog a lot, so I wasn't surprised when Dom walked me home and wanted to meet Winston.

Because I'm naive I didn't recognize this for the play that it was and said 'Sure!  Come on in and meet my dog!'  So I go in, get Dom and dog introduced on the couch, then go over to the window to turn the AC on.  (Wine makes me sweat.)  While I was fiddling with the AC's knobs, Dom decided to get naked.  No word of a lie, he whipped all his clothes off (except his socks -- why do men do this??) and just stood there waiting for me to do something.  Honestly,  I didn't see this coming, but probably should have.  At that moment I took a minute to seriously appreciate what hours at the gym will do for someone.  He looked so amazing that it kind of made me want to run to my room and put more clothes on.  Trying to be cool, I walked over and kissed him, then pointed to his penis and was like, 'I don't think we're going to be needing this tonight.'  Then I appeased him with what (I hope) was a steamy make-session.  And you guys, I think I pulled it off!  When I play that line back in my head, it was totally cool!

So even though Dom looks like a photoshopped Adonis, I'm not terribly interested in him.  He's very nice, and he's got his life together, but I've noticed that our conversations can never go deeper than movies, celebrity gossip, and fitness.  There's just nothing there that's intellectually stimulating.  He's a good kisser, but without that mental spark, I don't think it's going to last.

Well that's it for now!  Dating is picking up, so stay tuned for more updates!