Online dating has made me cynical to the point where if a guy seems too good to be true, he absolutely, totally is. I've been burned by this a bunch of times and in a bunch of different ways. There were men who loved chatting online or on the phone for hours but could never meet in person -- a sure sign of a guy who's already in a relationship and just looking for some side-fun. (Also, never trust a guy who won't give you his phone number. And if he won't tell you his last name, he's a psychopath -- I know of which I speak.)
Ok, back on topic. We'll call this guy Cowboy, because he was wearing a cowboy hat in his profile pic. I approached with caution, simply because of the high correlation between topless men in cowboy hats and the likelihood of him being a douchebag.
The second time we chatted he again seemed interested in me, but maybe more interested in having a video chat. At that point I knew exactly where that convo was headed and I was having none of it. If I wanted to appear topless via webcam I'd probably have indicated this in my online profile. And on top of that, I would damn well charge people for the experience! (Not to say I have an extraordinary rack, I'm just saying I'd want to get something out of it.)
As a rule, I try to avoid webcam creepers by posting an online profile that is not even remotely sexy. My pictures are flattering but not flirty, and my profile is boring as hell -- "Hi there, I like dogs, and books, and I sing in a choir." Zzzzzzz. I find this usually attracts the kind of guy I'm looking for -- a guy who's a bit nerdy and looking for a date. Basically the exact opposite of Cowboy. (Hence my suspicion.)
But let's step back for a minute. The fact that there are so many men out there looking for a nightly webcam show says to me that there must be a bunch of women out there willing to provide. It's got to be pretty common, because otherwise men wouldn't be so quick to ask! Is this what all the kids are doing these days? Am I the last person to find out that this is a standard part of online dating? First emails, then texts, then a webcam show, then coffee... No, I just can't do it. It's not that I'm a prude, it's that I know how easy it is to take a screen shot, save it as a picture, and post that sh*t on the interweb.
God I feel old. I just want to tell all these people who are wasting their time stripping for their webcams that they'd probably have even MORE fun if they were in the same room. Call me old fashioned.
Get a hobby you kids! And get off my lawn.
when i was about 16/17 and first discovering online dating, chatting with guys from afar (let's face it, there are not a lot of homosexual men in Strathroy), chatting via webcam (ah, the days of MSN messenger) was quite common - often as a pretext to see you naked, but sometimes just to see you in your non-'putting your best picture forward' state. i mean, how was my teenage self going to fall in love with a stranger living several hours away if i hadn't seen him in (semi-)real life?
ReplyDeletein conclusion, he's probably a perv, at best really superficial. i would not be surprised to learn that there is a supply of exhibitionists to meet his demands - i will admit to having done it on occasion in my irresponsible youth, and there is a weird combination of anonymity and intimacy it creates that provides a very fleeting but also very powerful ego boost.
on another note, the graph exhibits increasing returns to cowboy hats in terms of douchebaggery, then reaches a point where they are decreasing. my analysis suggests this is the point where the man in question approaches *actually* being a cowboy, in which case it could actually eventually go down - are your findings similar? i find a southern accent expressing bright, witty, and eloquent comments particularly disarming. this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBxUWWbbc4o) on the other hand, makes me physically ill
ReplyDeleteSo right Jordan! I suppose at some point Douchebaggery decreases the closer you get to the guy being a legit cowboy. You're brilliant!
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