It was over when he got out the wig

Hiya readers!  I'm back from my Christmas vacation at the cottage.  There's not much going on in my dating life at the moment, so I'm bringing you a really bad date story from the archives.  (Not an actual archive, since this blog is only a few months old -- I mean the archives of my life.) 

This one goes back to 2006.  I was new to Toronto, fresh-faced and ready to begin a Masters degree.  Let me tell you a story of a small-town girl and her first date in the Big City.  It's also, coincidentally, about the time I dated a drag queen.  (Trust me, you're going to want to keep reading.)

Lance and I met over MySpace.  I don't remember how or why we became MySpace friends, but we had been emailing all summer and I was excited to finally meet him when I moved to Toronto.  Lance was incredibly hot and fairly successful as a.... I want to say legal secretary?  Not important.

Anyway, we had a couple of successful dates.  There was coffee, dinner, shopping for a Halloween costume -- all great.  Eventually he wanted to impress me with his cooking skills, so he invited me to his place for dinner.  (Rosemary roast chicken.  Delicious!)

After dinner the wine kicked in and things were getting flirty.  He asked if I wanted to listen to some of his favourite songs... in his bedroom.  Hell yes I did!  I sat on his bed while he clicked through itunes and then...

The music started.  Lance started singing.  And dancing.  He went to the closet, and then my life changed...

I met Ruby.

Lance put on a red wig and heels and finished the song on a high note.  Apparently Lance likes to perform drag shows every other week, as Ruby. 

I was totally shocked.  Lance had mentioned that he was bisexual, which didn't really bother me.  But in the spirit of trying to be cosmopolitan and big city-friendly, I tried to be cool with the drag queen performances too.  It was kind of hard to forget though -- he made a terrible red-head.

Anyway, we went out a few more times, but Ruby didn't make an appearance again.  One night we went out with a group of my friends to a gay bar downtown.  Everyone was having a good time but Lance disappeared for a few minutes.  Then I noticed my friends looking over my shoulder and trying to act like nothing was wrong.  When I turned around, Lance was making out with some dude with really long, beautiful hair.  I called him out, got mad, and made a dramatic exit.  (I mean, obviously.  Right?)

My poor friends.  What do you say to that?  Well Muffy's the best.  She reassured me on the way home that my hair was way prettier than that guy's, so it was Lance's loss.  Muffy always knows just what to say to make me feel better.

So there you have it!  The story of how I dated a drag queen.  Did I learn anything from it?  Absolutely -- I learned how to walk in heels.  Thanks Ruby.